“I wanted to command attention the way he did, learned how to do it too, Clare said I had it down, but not the same, they don’t listen to me the same way, it’s different. They liked listening, looking up to him, elder statesman. They don’t like listening to me.” p22
“Oh, why didn’t I go? Nobody asked me.” p110
Because we’ve been taught from the beginning that we must not ask, we must wait. Wait for a man to ask us to the prom, to ask us out for a drink, dinner, a date, marriage. Along with the convention that those events are supposedly of utmost importance in a woman’s life, it’s no wonder we grow up waiting to be asked for — everything. Jobs, membership on task forces and projects, raises, promotions, clients … all the things that put us on the ladder, and help us ascend, to status and income.
Imagine a world in which boys were reprimanded for asking, we taught they must wait— Well, full stop there.
And imagine, of course, that women seldom ask them for anything of importance because, well, men just aren’t that important, except as escorts in one way or another …
And it’s not just that. The few of us who do ask are told ‘no’ (if our asking is indeed acknowledged, ‘heard’…). (And note, we don’t respond to rejection with a shooting spree.)
So often, we eventually stop.
“Is that all I am to him, a shudder in the loins? Is that all fatherhood is?” p216
“Poor kid, what must that feel like, your own father doesn’t even have the interest to lay eyes on you.” p216
“All I want is some answers. … I don’t care about the money.” p222
“You’re asking for something he doesn’t want to give.” p223
No, more likely, something he doesn’t have. I dare say we impute too much self-awareness to men on issues like this.
“He was so powerful things just appeared before him when he wanted them.” p227
Right. Men don’t even have to ask. And women don’t ask. Partly because they’ve been taught all their lives not to; we’re supposed to just wait … See above. And partly because when we do ask, we don’t get what we’re asking for anyway. See This is what happens, Chris Wind.
“… that you and generations of men before you felt that incest was their prerogative, their right—that fathers own the bodies of their daughters as they do those of their wives and slaves. And that they believe they have the right to own other human beings, to control them, that indeed, they define manhood as the ability to control others.” p296 (my emphasis)
“… you [the father who raped her when she was a child, telling her the whole time that he loved her…] destroyed utterly my ability to discriminate love from power, sex from submission. You ruined my emotional life. Forever.” p300
Does that explain the possibly increasing preference for ‘rough’ sex?
“This left me with a sense of helplessness and inferiority—a sense that I have no existence, don’t matter—that I will have to battle as long as I live.” p302
Don’t need to rape your daughters to do that. Just ignore and belittle them from the moment they’re born until they finally get the fuck out of your house.
“Even though I never harmed you—after all, I have no responsibility for my own existence, my ow birth—and never wished you ill, you have condemned me to eternal shadowhood and pain.” p303
Indeed. Men, why do you create something in order to ignore it, abandon it, to hurt it so? Because perverse ‘masculinity’ requires it. And you buy it. Masculinity.
“I don’t have to have another husband. The thought shocked her into utter stillness.” p318
Pity more women don’t realize that at eighteen. In our current society, we don’t need to marry a man. End of story. Take advantage of that!
"We License Plumbers and Pilots - Why Not Parents?"At Issue: Is Parenthood a Right or a Privilege? ed. Stefan Kiesbye (Greenhaven, 2009); Current Controversies: Child Abuse, ed. Lucinda Almond (Thomson/Gale, 2006); Seattle Post-Intelligencer (October 2004)
ImpactAn extended confrontation between a sexual assault victim and her assailants, as part of an imagined slightly revised court process, in order to understand why they did what they did and, on that basis, to make a recommendation to the court regarding sentence does not go … as expected.
What Happened to TomTom, like many men, assumes that since pregnancy is a natural part of being a woman, it’s no big deal: a woman finds herself pregnant, she does or does not go through with it, end of story. But then …
Aiding the EnemyWhen Private Ann Jones faces execution for “aiding the enemy,” she points to American weapons manufacturers who sell to whatever country is in the market.
Bang BangWhen a young boy playing “Cops and Robbers” jumps out at a man passing by, the man shoots him, thinking the boy’s toy gun is real. Who’s to blame?
ForeseeableAn awful choice in a time of war. Whose choice was it really?
Exile (full-length drama) Finalist, WriteMovies; Quarterfinalist, Fade-In.
LJ lives in a U . S. of A., with a new Three Strikes Law: first crime, rehab; second crime, prison; third crime, you’re simply kicked out – permanently exiled to a designated remote area, to fend for yourself without the benefits of society. At least he used to live in that new U. S. of A. He’s just committed his third crime.
What Happened to Tom (full-length drama) Semifinalist, Moondance.
This guy wakes up to find his body’s been hijacked and turned into a human kidney dialysis machine – for nine months.
Aiding the Enemy (short drama 15min)
When Private Ann Jones faces execution for “aiding the enemy,” she points to American weapons manufacturers who sell to whatever country is in the market.
Bang Bang (short drama 30min) Finalist, Gimme Credit; Quarter-finalist, American Gem.
When a young boy playing “Cops and Robbers” jumps out at a man passing by, the man shoots him, thinking the boy’s toy gun is real. Who’s to blame?
Foreseeable (short drama 30min)
An awful choice in a time of war. Whose choice was it really?
Minding Our Own Business A collection of skits (including “The Price is Not Quite Right,” “Singin’ in the (Acid) Rain,” “Adverse Reactions,” “The Band-Aid Solution,” and “See Jane. See Dick.”) with a not-so-subtle environmental message