from Ejaculating Responsibly: a whole new way to think about abortion, by Gabrielle Blair – A MUST-READ

from Ejaculate Responsibly: A whole new way to think about abortion, Gabrielle Blair

[P]regnancy and abortion are not ‘a woman’s issue.’  men don’t play a minor or supporting role in pregnancy.  Men’s lifelong continual fertility is the central driving force behind all unwanted pregnancies.  [All.]  p8

We treat ejaculation as something that happens at random, that is unintentional, that is impossible to anticipate or predict.  p17

Women—  [Actually, just read the whole of chapter 4: Ovulation is Involuntary, Ejaculation is not.]  p19

We don’t mind if women suffer, as long as it makes things easier for men.  [the title of chapter 10.]  p48

When men choose to have condom-less sex, they are putting a woman’s body, health, social status, job, economic status, relationships, and even her life, at risk in order to experience a few minutes of slightly more pleasure. … Would men really choose a few moments of slightly more pleasure over risking a woman’s whole life? [italics mine]  [Yes.  Apparently.]  p57

If Person One knows they have an STI and transmits it to their partner, Person Two, in many states that’s a crime, and Person One can be prosecuted by the state.  Additionally, Person Two can bring a civil suit against Person One.  If your bodily fluids have the potential to harm your partner [and she’s made an incontestable case that pregnancy has that potential] [actually, she establishes that harm is a certainty], it’s your responsibility to ensure they don’t.  p70

If you have a son, his sperm can “infect” any woman he has sex with.  … Pregnancy and childbirth are known to kill women.  Pregnancy and childbirth are highly likely to leave permanent scars and cause future health problems …  Unplanned pregnancy and childbirth can have a significant negative impact on the quality of life for the future child and their parents.    A man’s sperm can cause a huge amount of damage.  p71

Don’t ask: Why don’t women pick better men?  Instead, ask: Why are there so many abusive men?  And: Why don’t we teach men not to abuse?  p87   [Though I’d also ask: Why do they have to be taught not to abuse?]

“Patriarchy teaches us that sex, for women is a giveaway, while for men it is a takeaway.  She saves herself, gives herself to the right one, and then her virginity is lost.  In this equation, there is nothing in sex that’s for her to take.  Whereas he takes and scores and there is nothing in sex for him to give.  When her mind is programmed to give, she struggles to say ‘no’.  When his mind is programmed to take, he struggles to accept ‘no’.”  (from The 8th List of Shit That Made Me a Feminist, Farida D.)   p87

I’m trying to imagine how our culture would react if men with children peed themselves every time they  jumped or sneezed [a common ‘side-effect’ of pregnancy and childbirth].  I don’t think the medical community would be okay with that.  I think the issue would be solved by now.  p93

I think it’s safe to say that if sex were as risky for men as it is for women—with an unwanted pregnancy potentially leading to loss of social status, loss of career, a disruption of their education, physical disability, death, and the permanent responsibility for another human—that men would insist on having a choice in the matter.  [Yeah.  Why I wrote What Happened to Tom.]  p96

If a man ejaculates irresponsibly and causes an unwanted pregnancy, he faces zero consequences.  He can walk away at any time, and our current culture doesn’t really do much (or anything?) to discourage it.  [Yeah.  Given p91-95, impregnating should be consider premeditated aggravated assault, the full damages of which to be determined after childbirth, and putting male DNA on record at birth would enable charges to be confirmed.]   p107

Our society is set up to protect men from the consequences of their own actions  [like we do for children].   Our laws and policies could not be better designed to protect men who abandon the pregnancies they cause.  p109  [see the full list of evidence on p109-110]

Sperm should be considered a dangerous bodily fluid that can cause pain, a lifetime of disruption and even death for some.  Sperm can create a person.  Sperm can kill a person.  Sperm cause pregnancy, and pregnancy and childbirth can result in physical and mental health issues for women, as well as negative impacts to her social status, job status, and financial status.  p112





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