So I watched American Tragedy (purporting to explain the American tragedy of school shooting) last night—actually I fast-forwarded through a lot because it was so superficial and, thus, boring, ignoring the elephants in the room.
- As soon as a boy enters puberty, his body goes into testosterone overload and almost overnight, he sees females as fuckable or unfuckable. End of story. So, Mom, all of the love you give—doesn’t matter. You don’t matter. Anymore. End of story.
- Most cultures exacerbate this tsunami by insisting that real men are cold and aggressive. The boy’s father is shown only three times (at least, I saw him only three times):
(i) once simply standing beside his wife, the boy’s mother—as if that proves he’s a good husband and father; he’s a breadwinner, he has a job, he’s making money for the wife and kids; apparently that’s all that matter (how convenient, as he’d be doing that anyway, without wife and kids—he’d still have to pay rent, buy food and water …); we never see the man interacting with his wife, let alone talking with her about matters of substance; we also never see him interacting with his son, let alone talking to him about matters of substance
(ii) twice I saw the man’s face: it was completely devoid of warmth, and marked by a frown, no doubt permanent, suggesting seriousness and disapproval, possibly anger; anything else is unacceptable for a real man
(iii) the only time I saw enthusiasm, perhaps even joy, was when he was watching a football game on tv—that’s the only time men are allowed enthusiasm, perhaps even joy
(One of the women interviewed said the problem is both guns and mental illness, but she failed to see that we raise our young boys to become men, who are by definition mentally ill.)
So of course young boys become cold and aggressive; all the good stuff is flooded over by testosterone and shamed out of them by dead dads and jocks; no surprise, they want to kill themselves and others.
Hopefully every high school has at least one male teacher who is a decent human being, one male adult who has survived puberty and the relentless cultural pressure to become otherwise. Such teachers should start ‘Decent Human Being’ clubs for the boys, so they have a community right from grade nine all the way to graduation, a community that will help them. Because boys clearly need help. To maintain their humanity, to become decent human beings.
