I’m being sued!

Damn those insurance companies!  (And I will, too!)  Calling hurricanes, tornadoes, and even floods ‘acts of god’!  Why, those self-serving schmucks!  It’s their job to provide a safety net against misfortune!

So what am I gonna do?  It’s a lose-lose situation.

I don’t show up, people will think I don’t exist.  They’ll stop believing in me.  Though I’m not sure that’s a bad thing.  It’s not like their belief does me any good.

I do show up, well, I can see it now…  (And I can, too!)

I could say I didn’t know it was going to happen, but there goes omniscience.

Or I could say I did, but I couldn’t do anything about it.  There goes omnipotence.

God works in mysterious ways?  Right.  Some smartass will say, Try us.  (Hitchens, I’ll bet.)

It can’t end well.  I’ll be on the hook for compensation.  Everyone who’s ever suffered personal injury or property damage from a storm or flood or lightning…  my God!  I’d have to restore their belongings, their houses, their land, their bodies, their minds.  Their lives.  There goes benevolence.

 

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